I am a shadow in search of the light. I will sound confusing because in a matter of speaking I am confused. I used to call myself a Narcissist. No, not because I loved myself. And no, I didn’t have that ego problem either. But because I felt that maybe by calling myself so, I might be able to just dress up all over me and be the person I thought I should be. No, I don’t know what I wanted to be. No, I don’t know what I should be. I am in search of myself, the meaning to start sentences with “I”, the purpose. Then I experimented with myself starting by not giving a care about what others’ thought. I thought it would be a piece of cake. No, it wasn’t. Because then I had a marathon of sleepless nights, as I wondered what they had in mind, what they were thinking, about me. I was lost, perpetually in the reality-defying the existence of a being. Yet, I took it as a mission to search for the lost person. It took a while to realize that there was no person at all. It was just an empty shell.Don’t ask me why I did what I did. Because the answer might surprise you.
Don’t ask me who I am! Because like I said, I am the shadow in search of light.
Don’t ask me the what I wanted to become! Because I left it blank in my second grade when they asked me “What do you want to be?”. I had too many choices, and I wasn’t good at picking one as I felt I should be, no have to be everything.
Don’t ask me the purpose! Because we know what happens when the shadow meets the light.
____
Ajay Kontham.
Passionate Writer.
Occasional Blogger
Hobby Photographer
Insomniac; 3 AM kinda friend
Bibliophile
Gamer
Engineer, got a degree so!
I will be honest, I am the epitome of introvert. But, online I am an exceptional extrovert, or so I would think myself to be.
Email: [email protected]