Double edged sword.
The knife that is used to stab sometimes digs deep into fingers. Perhaps, I had been hasty in a few too many things. But then again, the few things was way too many to count. I have started to realize that I have very low tolerance for patience. I want things to be done asap and the delay in them bothers me. This mostly applies for things that are not in my control and I seem to think that they should work the way they are supposed to. Be as it may, I am not the one doing things, I would rather skip and let them marinate in the background which in turn start to rot because they hadn’t been given the attention they were supposed to be given. And then comes me with all the blaming and what not. I usually blame myself, but sometimes I do try to find someone else to blame for my misdoings. Needless to say, I had dragged myself in some sticky situations, knowingly or unknowingly. I recently had a realization that nothing is permanent, not even the tattoos. Everyone, well at least most of the people do move one from their past, if not that then lets say, they move along with the herd, be it through their own volition, or the society’s.

The other day, I was super amped up, or so I thought I was. I hadn’t had (proper) food and then went to office in what I thought was a pretty good outfit. I don’t know who thought the white shoes went with a black suit was clearly an idiot. Whoa, don’t look at me! Well, you caught me. There was an initiation to meetup at a colleague’s house later that evening, and I being an introverted person was looking for some company to accompany me for the night so that it won’t be more awkward than it already would be. One of my friend had already mentioned that he was not interested, the same one who a few weeks back was asking the host colleague to invite to his house. So, we had dropped the idea of going. But then he seemed to have changed his mind a few hours before the meetup and was asking me if I wanted to join. I kind of already had some plans and if you know me, I am all about the new renowned goals and what not. So, I had to politely decline the offer to accompany him for the evening meetup. I had a plan to beat the 20K run in just 10 days, which was an impressively impossible feat and I thought I might just pull it off, if I give the attention it needs. The first of which being hitting the gym, to which I was in and out in like 10 minutes. Thanks to my out of the world stamina, I left before I could break a sweat and that too might have been because the gym was on two stories up. I came back home and then while I was coming back, I remembered another new goal that I had kept for myself, to write everyday, well almost, like a journal entry. 

I didn’t stop when I got back home, I quickly got freshened up and was on my way to the usual coffee shop. I was feeling it all, no, not the aftereffects of the painstakingly zero workout done, but the cold wind, the resistance from the bike, perhaps due to the never serviced/ cleaned bike. But when you have music blasting in your ears, you tend to block out the noise, well almost, at least the sound from the bike, I.e. if there is any. I took my preordered coffee, wrote something in so much haste that it didn’t even make sense what I had written and before I knew it, I was out of the shop. I raced all the way back up, not that any one was competing, but it was me and racing my own shadow. I reached my home, flipped my access card and got into the elevator. You know when you feel like you are in a groove and sort of feel like everything is going great. But at the same time, I was also wondering what I should order, perhaps a burger, almost forgetting that I was supposed to getting in shape, having proper food, building up my stamina and getting ready for the 20K run. But it is a tomorrow problem. For now, I am feeling the music in my ears and I was in the groove. A moment later, I couldn’t even take a step. I couldn’t move mu feet up, or down. I was literally stuck and was unable to even take my shoe off.

I had such sever cramps suddenly that I can’t even being to explain. It started when I was trying to take my shoe off all the while planning what to order for dinner. It would be the first meal in about 24 hours. The first shoe came off easily, but the second one was a whole different story. As I was trying to take it out, a sever cramp ran up my calf. I couldn’t move up, or down, or anywhere. I couldn’t even sit. The only thing I managed to do was drag my feet on the floor with the shoe still intact. I was hoping that this will pass away while I had already placed my order. It said 20 minutes to deliver. But for heaven’t sake, nothing was happening, the leg cramp was not backing down. I was trying to do everything I possibly can. A few minutes passed and the pain still continued. I tried to move, which I was able to by dragging the feet, because any other position was killing me. A few more minutes passed and I was wondering how I was going to get the food order if it were to arrive and the cramp didn’t go anywhere. It took a few more minutes, a little massaging and whatnot to finally get the cramp to go away. And boy was I relieved. I was going to google what to do in a severe cramp, which I think is a good thing to know given that I don’t warmup before exerting myself to extreme physical torment. I clearly am not as invincible as I think myself to be. 

ak | x.viii.mmxxii