Day 168
Life is mundane. There are always two sides of a coin. We flip a coin and expect something to come up. Lets say, Heads. We say heads in our mind, telepathically telling the coin to turn up as Heads. Then we are disappointed. So, we flip the coin again. And again we are disappointed. To even the odds, the coin is flipped for the last time and as usual we are disappointed. The coin here is the culprit. It did not oblige to the telepathic messages that were send to it.
You can call me a gambler. For starters, I have no idea how the game is played. But anyway I gamble. I might have lost a hundred games. I will come back again, trying my – what we usually call – luck. This time I feel, I am sure to win, and win BIG. I put all in. And every time it is the same thing that I fail to recognize even after a thousand plays – thousand plays of losing. Because they said, have hope, don’t give up. It has never worked – whatever that hope is – whatever that not-giving up is.
A very good friend of mine said, what can she tell about Life to a person who writes thought-provoking posts about the so called Life. I agree or disagree ? I don’t know. But if she says so, she must be right. But inside my mind, I hear a mocking sound echoing – “Seriously, You?” Now there is dilemma. And I fall into a vast space of void where the path that I want to / should take is well… Void. I write about Life, sure. I write to understand it. It has never been my area, and never understood its way of working. I am always amazed, …hmm..er.. amazed is too brilliant of a word… and then I would be lying if I said that.. I am always in awe, in hysteria, in confusion (sometimes) and scared (all the time).
There is a war in the mind, a never ending war. The desires (read:weapons) of a person snatched away and left alone to battle. It burns me from inside. But like they say, there is always good at the end of the road, or precisely there is light at the end of the tunnel. Oh, yeah, I agree none the less. There is light, sure, indeed. But I am on the other side of the tunnel where it is dark and well let me burst the bubble and just say, I am walking to the wrong end of the tunnel feeling that it is the right path.
The war, that war, which never ends no matter what. I just hope for a day when the sun shines brighter and the grass is greener. I hear someone saying ‘It already is’.. ‘Why don’t you see it?’ I don’t know, why I can’t or is it I shouldn’t? I don’t know what is it. That smile that is on the face is a reflection of an agonized mind. That sort of agonized that never stops thinking, that never stops flipping the coin even when it knows the result won’t be what is expected, that puts all the money in the game of cards which it sure knows that winning is out the picture. “Excuse me, why don’t you get under the roof. You are soaking wet.” I snap out to the voice of a stranger to find myself staring at the ground beneath me drenched in water as the heavy drops from the sky kept piling up, and as the rain lashed the very part of me. What was I thinking? I did not know. I never knew. May be I never will.
0 responses to “Something I will never Understand.”
So many thoughts….and I feel this is such a profound post. The coin flipping..the immortal thing called Hope. I hear you! We write to understand life…only death will b the end to it.
So many thoughts….and I feel this is such a profound post. The coin flipping..the immortal thing called Hope. I hear you! We write to understand life…only death will b the end to it.
nice one…beautifully written!!
nice one…beautifully written!!
You have already got the hang of it but maybe you are in search of more. That's the way life works, attacking you when you think you are unarmed (but actually you do come out of the attack decently, don't you? So there is some help after all) and rewarding you when you least expect it. I cannot explain why it does that, yes, it is irritating. But I do hope there is some reason behind all this.
IMHO, trying matters. So that in the end there will be no regrets that you didn't try to understand life. Whether or not the clarity is delivered to you is not in our hands.
You have already got the hang of it but maybe you are in search of more. That's the way life works, attacking you when you think you are unarmed (but actually you do come out of the attack decently, don't you? So there is some help after all) and rewarding you when you least expect it. I cannot explain why it does that, yes, it is irritating. But I do hope there is some reason behind all this.
IMHO, trying matters. So that in the end there will be no regrets that you didn't try to understand life. Whether or not the clarity is delivered to you is not in our hands.
Yeah. An agitated mind is uncontrollable. But is it profound, really?
Thank you. 🙂
Exactly, only death will be the end to it.
Yeah. An agitated mind is uncontrollable. But is it profound, really?
Thank you. 🙂
Exactly, only death will be the end to it.
Thank You. 🙂
Thank You. 🙂
You really think so? That I got the hang of it?
Yeah, that's the way life works. I too hope there is some reason behind all this.
Yeah, trying matters and that's all one can do in situations like these.
Thanks for dropping by. 🙂
You really think so? That I got the hang of it?
Yeah, that's the way life works. I too hope there is some reason behind all this.
Yeah, trying matters and that's all one can do in situations like these.
Thanks for dropping by. 🙂
Kriti Bhatnagar
(By Mistake deleted this comment)
You either need a new life (that's like next to impossible with all the tagged along terms and conditions! :P) or you need a new job (BINGO! :D) B)
Play your life by some tricks dear and you'll succeed! It's all about playing by your own rules or you'll be made to be followed by someone! 🙂
FYI…Next time when you flip a coin…if you wish heads, keep the heads side upfront before flipping it in the air…and guess what, you'll get a head as you flip. Try it out sometime…it's fun 😉
Kriti Bhatnagar
(By Mistake deleted this comment)
You either need a new life (that's like next to impossible with all the tagged along terms and conditions! :P) or you need a new job (BINGO! :D) B)
Play your life by some tricks dear and you'll succeed! It's all about playing by your own rules or you'll be made to be followed by someone! 🙂
FYI…Next time when you flip a coin…if you wish heads, keep the heads side upfront before flipping it in the air…and guess what, you'll get a head as you flip. Try it out sometime…it's fun 😉
Absolutely. A new life would do just fine and yeah, with all the tagged along terms and conditions.
A new job… hmm.. well..that will also work out.
Yeah, that's a sound advice. Will try to follow it.
I know. I was saying that from the other side of the view when you are not flipping the coin and someone else is flipping it, and that person doesn't want you to win, no matter what.
Absolutely. A new life would do just fine and yeah, with all the tagged along terms and conditions.
A new job… hmm.. well..that will also work out.
Yeah, that's a sound advice. Will try to follow it.
I know. I was saying that from the other side of the view when you are not flipping the coin and someone else is flipping it, and that person doesn't want you to win, no matter what.
You know Ajay I just learnt this lesson – sometimes you need to see yourself the way others see you to realise your true worth!
Nice post.. loved it!
You know Ajay I just learnt this lesson – sometimes you need to see yourself the way others see you to realise your true worth!
Nice post.. loved it!
The coin like you said is the culprit, or your luck, I think perseverance is unrelated to gambling.
But you know I do find it odd when others speak about this “life” like they know everything about it.
The coin like you said is the culprit, or your luck, I think perseverance is unrelated to gambling.
But you know I do find it odd when others speak about this “life” like they know everything about it.
I am glad you learnt a lesson.
But I have a question : Is that a deduction from my post? Just wondering whether I could even write like that. So asked.
Why, Thank You. 🙂
I am glad you learnt a lesson.
But I have a question : Is that a deduction from my post? Just wondering whether I could even write like that. So asked.
Why, Thank You. 🙂
My Luck, of course.
Well, I too belong to that category. I have no idea, but still I keep ranting and babbling about it, as if I am an expert.
My Luck, of course.
Well, I too belong to that category. I have no idea, but still I keep ranting and babbling about it, as if I am an expert.
Where ia the AK yaaar…what all these agitation eating u??? I have no idea what to say really as I am babbled in this new city..but I have one curosity. In several posts you have mentioned some she told u what can she tell about Life to a person who writes thought-provoking posts about the so called Life.. Who is that intellectual she??? And is she so intelligent and experienced of life??? If she is then I would love to meet her and have some suggestions regarding my jumbled life.
Please! Please! Don't let the AK die in cloud of agitation and frustration. You may not, but there so many people out there who value him. Stay happy. Stop forcing yourself into something you are not comfortable in. 🙂 🙂 🙂
Where ia the AK yaaar…what all these agitation eating u??? I have no idea what to say really as I am babbled in this new city..but I have one curosity. In several posts you have mentioned some she told u what can she tell about Life to a person who writes thought-provoking posts about the so called Life.. Who is that intellectual she??? And is she so intelligent and experienced of life??? If she is then I would love to meet her and have some suggestions regarding my jumbled life.
Please! Please! Don't let the AK die in cloud of agitation and frustration. You may not, but there so many people out there who value him. Stay happy. Stop forcing yourself into something you are not comfortable in. 🙂 🙂 🙂
AK, I wish I knew. I am lost here. A week more and hopefully a part of me will be okay.
Well, she is a friend, just like you, just as concerned as you are. Her intention was that me being a person who is constantly writing about life which are quite unusual, or well.. thought-provoking in her sense .. and how could she explain to get myself together and be happy for the present.
I will try, I can't promise. Really ? I would really like to meet all those people. That's nice to hear, though. Yeah, trying not to, but sometimes somethings are inevitable. :/
And hey thanks for dropping by. 🙂
AK, I wish I knew. I am lost here. A week more and hopefully a part of me will be okay.
Well, she is a friend, just like you, just as concerned as you are. Her intention was that me being a person who is constantly writing about life which are quite unusual, or well.. thought-provoking in her sense .. and how could she explain to get myself together and be happy for the present.
I will try, I can't promise. Really ? I would really like to meet all those people. That's nice to hear, though. Yeah, trying not to, but sometimes somethings are inevitable. :/
And hey thanks for dropping by. 🙂
Tell me something – no matter you want Heads to show up , isn't it your choice to flip or not flip? Have you ever heard of a gambler who doesn't want to bet because he won big time and is satisfied with what he got? May be he will go to his room and count his money and be awed by it. But tomorrow he will definitely take it back! Gamblers don't gamble to win…they gamble to defy odds
Flip the coin and win – well you won
Flip the coin and loose – well your stakes just got higher for the next flip 😉
Tell me something – no matter you want Heads to show up , isn't it your choice to flip or not flip? Have you ever heard of a gambler who doesn't want to bet because he won big time and is satisfied with what he got? May be he will go to his room and count his money and be awed by it. But tomorrow he will definitely take it back! Gamblers don't gamble to win…they gamble to defy odds
Flip the coin and win – well you won
Flip the coin and loose – well your stakes just got higher for the next flip 😉
Ah, wow. What an insight?
Are you really SK ?
You comment sounds much more mature than I know you. 😛
Way to go, dude.
Ah, wow. What an insight?
Are you really SK ?
You comment sounds much more mature than I know you. 😛
Way to go, dude.
lol really?
What can i say..simple and stupid suits me like suits suit Harvey Spectre 🙂
lol really?
What can i say..simple and stupid suits me like suits suit Harvey Spectre 🙂