I was on Twitter the other day and all of a sudden I get a comment which stated that I was a attention seeker. I had a little laugh of my own and did try to take it on the lighter side. But the comment didn’t just go way, it went deeper and the person in conversation really didn’t give a damn. The person was so agnostic that they didn’t care enough to let me know what I was. I did have a little hard time figuring out who the attention seeker was. Having said that, I had to ask myself, was I really one?
I am at a social event and sit at one of the tables, which are at the far end corner, muffled with shadows and which doesn’t attract much people with a phone in my hand and trying to look extremely busy and preoccupied not to give away that I was bad at small talk and perhaps may be my hair is wrongly done, or the dress is not quite right. I keep the conversations to a level that it ends after a hello. Perhaps, I have a bad voice. Oh wait, I really do have a bad voice. And my teeth are a bit out. And perhaps the odd looking skin tone. Why have I become so self conscious? But then everyone at this social gathering is introducing themselves, and I will have to as well. I pick up what I need to tell from other’s introduction and phrase my own sentences changing the name and some other details. But I keep forgetting what the sentences were. Perhaps it is the nervousness or the already said ‘good’ qualities that I have already mentioned. I just want to slid out, go to the washroom and come back when all of this is over. But then again the mike is in my hand and I start off with the broken thoughts and the half made sentences. The expression on people’s faces gives away that I wasn’t quite audible even with a mike in hand. I realize that my voice is so low, so I start over again, but this time I forget what I had to say, because I lost the momentum. I end up with worse introductions than I had thought I ever could. But then someone clicks a photo and shares it on the Facebook with a mike in hand, my excessively large teeth stealing the limelight because of the complexion. I facepalm myself and sink into my chair and try to be as invisible as possible. But then what about the event, what about the social gathering, the people all around talking and meeting people excitedly. Before I could think any further, I am again busy with my phone and the only thing that I keep doing is locking and unlocking the phone, to look just as busy and preoccupied.
With all these insecurities and short comings, I still want to be an attention seeker. Ofcourse I do, don’t I?
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P.S. : I am planning to take up the #UltimateBloggingChallenge by writing posts for the entire month. I know I have missed the first few days, which I intend to cover up in the latter days.
P.P.S : I have refrained from writing about myself. I don’t exactly know the reason, but I guess there’s no point in not writing.
20 responses to “Attention.”
Unfortunately people pick on the opposite of what you actually want to portray or express.
Honesty makes an impression, even if it is shy.
Best impressions are made by those who dare to be honest when the spotlight is on them.
You must have been awesome !
I couldn’t agree more. You do make a fair point. But then again, keeping aside the honesty and talking about how comfortable one is within their skin also portrays how well they could express themselves. When the expressing starts, the honesty makes it more lively.
I wish I was. But, thank you. 🙂
Attention-seeker? You? Really, you had to take into account the nonsensical bullshit that the person had to say, about you, to force you to give him/her “attention”, didn’t you?
So far as I have known you, you’re anything but an attention seeker. The description of yourself that you provided in the post is exactly how I visualise you being one. Though I do think if only you gave a little bit more effort of being sociable (believe me, you have it in you), but yes, you are not an attention-seeker.
From next time, try not taking rubbish from people unnecessarily, unless they’re paying you for that.
hugs
I give attention to everyone. It’s in my nature to do so. It’s not by choice but it just happens.
Yes, I did. To put them in their palace and not jump into conclusions with other people. But turns out this so called person is stubborn af. So, there is nothing much I could do about it.
Thank you. At least someone reciprocates my thoughts. And more so because you haven’t even met me.
Why I am not sociable, I will write in other posts. It’s going to be a big series, of posts.
I don’t take rubbish from anyone. I am glad that because of this person, I wrote something. Like an icebreaker to my writers block.
Thanks for dropping by.
Palace? You mean, place right? 😛
Is getting attention bad? I dint know that, I feel all the things that is going around – from how we work, how we behave, everything else is to be better than others…attract attention!! Am confused here…I don’t think it is wrong to attract attention
http://simpleindianmom.in/simple-indian-moms-in-focus-the-multi-dimensional-modern-gypsy-shinjini/
No, it is not. I didn’t say it was wrong or bad. What I was saying is I never was one. I did not want the attention, the limelight or likewise. I wasn’t/am not too frenzy with the idea of attention. So, it’s not a bad thing. It’s just that I don’t like it. Having said that when people call you an attention seeker, it’s not the sort of attention you mentioned, it is more of a desperate plea to be recognised/ heard and doing everything in your capability to get that attention, like the things which we usually won’t do. Otherwise people would appreciate you and not call you an attention seeker. (I am using you as a general sense).
I hope you understood what I am trying to tell.
Thanks for dropping by.
I’ve realized that there are many idiots on Twitter who have nothing to do but get at someone. I am learning to ignore them and I am sure that it is them who are attention seekers. Like you, I keep the conversations to bare minimum in parties. Glad you wrote about it.
Yes, there are. I could have just ignored but since I knew the person, I was trying to explain where this person was wrong. Apparently, this person, quoting their own words ‘didn’t give a shit’. That’s when I had to stop. You can try to explain to people who atleast try to understand, not to, like you have mentioned ‘attention seekers’ like these.
Though I would high five you in the minimum conversations part, but I urge you increase the conversations. After all, they could be good memories rather than ‘I was there and came back’ sorta thing.
Thanks for dropping by.
How nasty can one get??… One of the loopholes of the virtual world, u can easily get away with any rubbish… Though as u said he did give u a reason to write on positve note … So you the shy kind haan?? didnt realise that … A good read
The worst they possibly can get, and then a little more.
Yes, this virtual world is such a place where people get away with almost everything.
Not he, but she. But that doesn’t matter. Yes, this was an icebreaker, of sorts.
-_-. Yes, I am. It’s even more stupid when someone meets me and asks me whether I am shy and I agree immediately. 🙁
Oh, and I talk very less too.
Thanks for dropping by. 🙂
I just love your opening quote! We should keep that in our minds. Thanks for reminding!
Why, thank you.
You’re welcome.
very well weaved it like your writing style
Why, thank you.
You’re too kind.
Thanks for dropping by.
Beautifully penned
Thank you.
Clearly, we both are quite different in this aspect.
Neither do I gather any eyes, I don’t talk either.
I don’t dance either.
Hard to believe you stay in the corner.
Oh, good for you. it’s good to be a part of the crowd.
What I meant was that the other person don’t look at me and talk about me at all. This is what happens with me and I am not forced or dragged to be a part of the whole crowd unless someone gets a stupid idea.
Haha. Yeah, right !