A tomorrow is a scary place if there is no hope.
We rise, we fight, we survive, we fall, we pick ourselves up and we rise again! A paradigm, life! It is indeed beautiful! The whole process of find ourselves and exploring life. There is always a lot we don’t know and we try to learn as much as we can and live our life the way we want it to. Because we are the script writers to our own story, our own life. No, don’t believe what people say about our life being sculptured by God himself! Because look around, and let everything settle in and do understand that you are in control and you can what you want to do, and you and you alone have to power to do anything and everything! Don’t believe me? Okay, try this. Turn your right palm and look at that line following in-between the index and the middle finger and observe. So now that you have done what I told you to do, you can very well do what you want to do, like stare at the hand or I don’t know write your own today and hopefully a better tomorrow.
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I don’t break down easily or ever. I have made myself tough. Tough is a wrong word. Well, it’s a white lie I keep telling myself, to reassure myself that I am indeed a fighter, that if you punch me I can take it without flinching. But in all reality, I’ve made/make myself absent. If there is something that bothers me, I try to escape or distract myself until it passes over. But the other day I came home and just sat down right at the center of the room and broke down. It was as if my legs didn’t work any longer. I wish there were tears, I wish I knew what I was doing. All I know was that I was frustrated, angry and searching for answers in an otherwise realm of broken hope. You would think what could be so horrible that I had to break down and look for answers in the dark room.
I have had enough, I said, for the millionth time, quite literally. And here I am, still saying it again and over again. I would hope that tonight I will sleep with everything that’s pulling me down and that tomorrow will wake up and it will be a better day, that tomorrow things will change, that things will finally fall in place. Dreamers, aren’t we all!? Let me rephrase, hopeful beings are what we are. While some land safely in the greener side, while while some don’t. And…and for the less fortunate, it is the same story, each day, over and over again. While the thoughts of yesteryear have formed a pretty good bond with the innate mind and always keep company day and night unlike. While they do a pretty good job of taking the misery out of one, there is this hope which seems to fade away. And I grow more scared of tomorrow that I am of yesterday!
A tomorrow is a scary place if there is no hope.
ak
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#ZtoAChallenge
#WeAllHaveAStoryWeDontTell
ajaykontham
84 responses to “Broke”
Hmm.. I’m sorry to hear that Ajay. Do I need to remind you that there’s something called, dm on ig? And you can dm graci anytime, yeah? Instead of you keeping it all on yourself it’s better to talk it with someone (like me) eh? But yeah I understand how hard it is to wake up tomorrow if hope is gone. Four letters which has a big impact. I have to disagree with you with one thing though, you know how much faith I have. I really believe that He is in control and I (am merely) his doer of His will. But I wouldn’t force you to believe what I believe in. Just reminding you that I’m here if you need someone to talk. 🙂
Hi Graci,
It’s alright! This has become common for me now.
It was a long time ago, I mean a few months ago, just before I met you.
They do have an impact! When there’s none and when there is.
He? In control? Of what we do or should do? Okay.
I know. Thank you very much!
You are welcome Ajay.
Hmmm.. well now that we’ve met already, I will appreciate if you message me if you need someone to talk to, even if you just want to talk about different types of coffee. Lol! Or about Marvels! :p
LOL 😀 Yaaaaa sure Ajay can talk about different types of coffee to us if not on the other things… And Yaa Ajay has this special, lucky chance to get to talk to me.. But Alas, these days Ajay is in great illusion of him already having met me and giving me a treat and also me having a bf and according to Ajay my guy is a poor chap who has to bear me 😛 LOL 😀 😀 😀
I hope Ajay soon gets a gf like me 😛 😉
First of all, such lies you tell! It’s not an illusion if it is true. You have taken that treat not once but twice! Don’t tell me that you forgot!
And your bf is a brave man! Poor that he has to bear you but brave that he is.
My best wishes to both of you!
Firstly, give her number! We will discuss the prerequisites of my gf later! 😉 😛
LOL 😀 You still live in such an illusion… You keep on bluffing like this and the more far you would take yourself from getting a GF. 😉 😛
You better tell the truth and give me two treats now as you have not given me even one till date and stop bluffing and being meaniieee to me… Only then you will get a gf 😉 😛
Haha, let me know when you wake up from your day dreaming. 😛
Oh mummmmmy, I am so scared and lonely! Please, don’t do that! Sooo scared. So so scared. So so so sooooo scared.
Hellooooo your the one who is suppose to wake up from day dreaming…
LOL 😀 Yaa yaa right you and scared… 😀 😀 😀 ROFL 😀
sprinkles water wake up, you!
Hahaha. Yeah. Hahaha. Me. Hahaha. Sarcasm. Hahaha. -_-
Oyyyyyeeee I am gonna pour a bucket of water on you now… 😉 😛 Wake uppppppp Ajjjjjaaayyyyyyyyyy Or should i just sing to wake you up? LOL 😀 😛 You decide and tell me you prefer a bucket of water or a song in my voice 😛 hehehehe
What Preethi!?
I thought you knew me. Water? I prefer coffee to water and even water knows it. Sigh! Such disappointment!
LOL and don’t you know me Ajay?? Why would I pour a bucket of coffee on you? When you are being such a meaniiiieeeee to me
So I will go with the water for sure now…
Sigh! Water has no affect on me!
Such a disappointment again!
Uh let’s see
And first you find me a BF after which I will find a GF for you 😉 😛
Oye hello, you already have one. How many more you want! Sigh, this generation!
By the time you even start to find that GF, I will be a fossil fuel!
See seee again your in a delusion. Please come out of it Ajay, I have no BF. Your suppose to find a good job that gives me promotion, pays well and find a BF for me…. How can you forget this??? 🙁 🙁 Wake up pllsssssss
Hehehehehe come to the real world then you can get your gf soon… 😉 😛
Sigh. What will you do with the existing one?
Hahaha. Ok. Hahaha.
Oyeeee How many times do I have to tell you I do not have a BF. Uffffff
You have it! And we both know who it is, your lovey-dovey BF!
LOL It is not a thing it have it Ajay
Well I don’t have it Ajay… And you know it very well and you stop living in that dumb dream.world of your… It’s high time.you come out of it.
You call it names, llike gold, diamond, so precious and all those cheesy stuff. So, I am compelled to refer it as a thing!
Say hi to your thing for me! Also when are you introducing it/him to me.?
Lol I don’t know about others but I definitely would not give such names and make the person as a thing…
2ndly I am not saying “Hi” to anyone and I won’t be introducing to you or anyone… Decided to end the acquaintance as it has only been a pain in the neck… I should have listened to my instinct and should have never met…. I regret for that day and you know it… I should have come and met you and taken my pending treat that day…
Oye hello, that treat has already been given! Twice!
I can’t help, if you keep forgetting!
You have not even given it once forget about giving twice u Liar
You stop bluffing rather than telling me I forget… My memory is better than yours
Offo, wait, I will search for hospitals near you! This memory loss is betting the better of you! You need to get it checked asap! 😛
Good go search for one, the doctor would say who your the one who has a memory loss…
-*You’re
You are*
Exactly.
Yaaa it’s you….
Exactly. You!
It is you Ajay, you!
k
Lol! Preethi, you and ajay are cute. You two should really go on a date soon. 😉
OMG Graci Ajay is gonna faint reading this
Don’t worry, we will give him some medicine to bring back his senses. Hehehe.
LOL Yaaa I guess if I say Ajay I found a GF for you then he would sure get back his senses…
Hahaha. I don’t know why he has to find one, you’re already there, single and available 😉
LOL Graci… Don’t you know I am toooooo young for him… Lol
Don’t worry, he likes younger one. That’s why even if Im not married we can’t be, because I’m TOOOO OLDDD for him lol! 😀
Lol I wanna see his reaction on these comments geee I would miss that
Don’t expect too much. He might reply next week. Knowing him. Haha.
Lol yaa I agree with that…
Lol.
You would be lying then!
You have sworn not to find one for me!
reallyyyy??? Did I swear I wont find a GF for you??
I didn’t know about it at all… Thanks for the info
Well I gotta rethink about finding a GF for you
Yes, you did!
Otherwise you would have already set me up, which you haven’t! So!
Haven’t you already made up your mind?
Well as far as I remember I didn’t swear… But I actually said I shall search a gf for you once you have given me the pending treats you gotta given me and you finding a job for me with a promotion, good pay and find me a BF first… After which I shall find a GF for you is what I said…
You see if you wanted to you would have, without expecting something in return. So, basically you did give an ultimatum. And I don’t work with ultimatums!
Ooohhhh ooohhh really… Then if you say so… I can’t help when you don’t even need…
As if you ever were.
I was…
What now!!!!
She already has a BF !
No she doesn’t have. She told me. She’s single. Preethi is single. :p
No, she isn’t!
She went on a date the last weekend! And she enjoyed every moment of it. Like she was blushing one day before they even met. Get that!
No she said, it didn’t turn out well. It wasn’t a good one. So, maybe it’s not for her. Maybe you two should go for a date. Haha
Ha ha ha ha!
Woah what a gentleman you are ajay, laughing at Preethi’s unlucky date… :p
At her joke.
I see. :p
Oh Lord! where is the dislike button on wp You and ur dumb imagination…
🙂
Sure, I will keep that in mind.
That reminds me the coffees you still have to give!
And Marvel, you a fan? 😉
I know Ajay. I am not forgetting the coffees. I will bring them that reminder on my deathbed.lol! Just send me your bank details and I’ll transfer some money on your bank account. I can’t use my paypal. You know why. Lol!
Is it going to be written on your gravestone?
Oh yeah, I know! And I already told you that it is okay. 🙂
😀 And you honestly want me to include it on my epitaph? Isn’t that too much to ask. LOL!!!
If you missed the expression in between, I will refresh it again, there is a question mark there! You see it?
Well, I will do you one better. No coffee, thank you!
😀 No I didn’t miss the question mark. I just did it to annoy you because I know how you hate answering your question with a question mark. Yay! :p I am pulling Ajay’s leg. Wohoo!!
Offo.
Congratulations. -_-
Gosh I’m blushing in happiness. Lol! 😀
Love you Graci❤️
:3 love love Preethi!
Graci don’t give him the coffee… You remember our conversation right Graci…. No coffee for him untill he stops bluffing to me and being a meaniiiieeeee to me…
Let’s see. If he sends his bank details to me.. hehehe..
Oh my god, Preethi! I am so scared! Like so scared that you can’ even imagine!
Lol yaa right Ajay… I know I know how scared you are
Oh my gooooooooood, stop scaring me!
Lol I would continue Ajay I know how scared you are
Yeah, very! Very!
Hehehehe yaa correct
You are much braver than what is scaring you,Ajay,you are much more.Break down if it is possible from time to time,so that when you stand up you are stronger and more courageous than ever.
Take care of yourself.
Thank you, Neha. 🙂
You are very very kind and sweet. 🙂
I would like to counter argue, but I will sound pessimistic, so, I will take this optimism from you and hope that I do stand up stronger
Thank you. 🙂
I will. And you too.
I hope the storm is over, the dust has settled and you have emerged stronger than your earlier self.
Yes, in a way it is. And I have, a little bit.
Thank you for dropping by. 🙂