The silence;
that speaks volumes.
that sometimes, consumes us.
We know it. It is right in front of us. We don’t want to talk about it. No, we discard it as if it is a taboo. It’s looked down upon. It’s judged upon. But then again, it is talked about, behind their backs, but not with them. We know it. It is right in front of us. We don’t want to talk about it. No, we discard it as if it is a taboo. It’s looked down upon. It’s judged upon. But then again, it is talked about, behind their backs, but not with them.
Have you ever wondered how great talking feels like? I know what you are thinking. I am talking (basically writing) about talking when I myself, never talk. I do, rarely. Ask those with whom I talk to. You can probably count them on your fingers. But then again, the bottom line is that I talk too, but mostly I write, so basically, I talk through words. (Ok stop throwing tomatoes at me. This is a serious issue I am going to talk about. So bear with me!) Talking is a great medium to have a conversation. Having said that we have different ways we communicate. I, for one, communicate by writing. It’s another story that no one reads it, so basically I am talking to myself. Oh damn, I got distracted from the topic at hand. So let me start over!
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Depression
Have you ever wondered how sharing something that bothers you feels like? We all have something or the other that we don’t find comfortable telling someone / anyone. So we keep it to ourselves and hope that things will get better soon, if not then, perhaps later. But what we don’t tell starts to eat us from the inside and it feels like more of a burden to carry than waiting for the things to turn around. It starts to weigh us down. It starts to isolate us, because we start to believe that no one will understand; because we feel that people will make fun of us; because we start to feel that we will be discarded; because we feel that it is not NORMAL.
While some keep it to themselves with that fading hope, a few of them just can’t take it anymore. And they feel it is better to let go of everything, even themselves. But if only we talked about, let me rephrase shared what was bothering us, we might have found a better solution than waiting eagerly in front of intensive cares or standing in front of handwritten letters with explanations for doing the so-called ‘deed’. I understand that sharing might not come as easy, because there are a lot of factors at play and there is a possibility of making it worse than it already is. But at some core of it, it to wants to come out, and at the core of us, we also want to let this go. We don’t like holding on to this. It is just drowning us more and more, like a weight tied to our feet and we are struggling to reach the surface. We want to let go, but we don’t know how to let go of it. Maybe share with someone whom we know, whom we trust, who we know won’t judge. Or maybe with me. I am always open to hear anything. Anything, seriously!
I will be honest. I am a good listener. I am not a talker. I am not a problem solver either. But I will do whatever I can to help, however hard it might be, I will do my best. Why am I going out of my way to emphasize the need to talk to someone and that, I will try to help it in any way possible? I have a reason. That reason is a person close to me. I have been talking about it, of it and for it, but in all awareness, I believed that as much as I have understood and known about it, I missed all the signs, the clue and the silence of the conversations that never happened. I missed it all and I feel really bad because how could I have let this even happen. But at the core of it all was communication. I have come across people on social media who have fought this, a few of whom are still fighting and few of them don’t even know. And then again, why will someone share their innate and darkest inhibitions to someone they don’t even know. They feel that they will not only be exploited but it will just bother them even more. The key ingredient here is trust. For a few, it helped them to be anonymous and sort of sharing a tiny bit of it, but for others, they still put on that bold façade and pretend like they are strong and they can take care of themselves. I am not here to disjoint the already established peripherals. All I am trying to say is I would like to be that ear and be the support in whatever way I can. But, do kindly share.
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#ZtoAChallenge
#WeAllHaveAStoryWeDontTell
ajaykontham
21 responses to “Distraught”
Don’t you think it is high time your write to me about the things that is bothering you?
Apart from finding a girl for you, I am a good listener too you see…
And finally, thanks for listening to all my ranting 😉 😛
First of all, don’t talk to me unless you have shared my number. 😉 😛
I have a blog to write on. Where else can I write.
And find a girl for me soon. I am getting old. 😛 😛
And ofcourse you are welcome. 🙂
LOL 😀 😀 😀 Ajay…. Unless you talk to me I won’t share your number Ajay 😛
Apart from your blog you can write to me (PM on any of the 2 id’s you have) 😉 😛
I Told you, find a job for me where I will get a promotion, get better salary and where girls and guys are more… Then I can find a girl for you while I search for my soul-mate 😉 😛
I have one question for you.
Who are you? 😛
If you want me to talk to you, share her number with me.
Where is a dislike button on wp… I think a dislike button must be added on wp….
Ur asking me who are you??
I am.not sharing the number and nor will I search a girl for u
U meaniiiieeeee on earth
Ok. Thanks.
Your welcome Mr. Meaniiiieeeee on earth…
*You’re.
Not me, it’s you..
1st u refused to give me the treat which you said you would i.e a cold coffee & 2 brownies…
2nd U actually asked who are you…
So you are the meaniiiieeeee
Oye hello. You wrote your. I corrected it as you’re.
Why do you do so much Preethi? Offo! Your new bf will die of your Preethi.
Was the correction so necessary??
No wonder I have no bf…
1st. Helllooooooooo u still haven’t given me the treat…stop bluffing…
2nd. What do you mean by who are you? As if you don’t know who I am??
3rd. You should have mentioned you correcting my grammatical mistake.. you should learn to.be clear with your conversation
I don’t have a bf so dealing part doesn’t exist…
4th. I think 1st you should find a guy for me….
Yeah. My hand gets itchy when I see a basic grammatical error. I don’t know English beyond that.
It means I don’t know who you are! I hope atleast you know! 😛
It’s called common sense! 😛
I feel really bad for your bf! Poor chap!
Lol that’s your problem if ur hand gets itchy when u see grammatical mistake… You should mention it clearly… My concern is about the conversation and not the Grammer…
oooyyeee liar liar, ur ….. On fire… U know very well u haven’t given me.the treat as u still haven’t met me at all…. So stop bluffing…
Ooohhh you don’t know who.i am…. Fine I don’t know who u are too… So searching a gf for.u is cancelled… I can’t lie to a girl saying I know you and u are a very good guy…
Aaaree I have no bf, so stop.feeling pity for someone who dsnt exist…
Ohh pls that jerk is not my bf ok… He is just an acquaintance… You know very well….so.pls stop calling that jerk as my bf…
Stop making mistakes, Miss!
And also stop with your bluffing!
As if you have already found suitable girls! Drama Queen!
That poor poor chap! How does he deal with you?
You thought of someone when I said BF! That is it! True love! 😛
I didn’t say anything. You are the one confirming it to me. 😛 😉
I will continue making mistakes…
Hello ur are the one who is bluffing…
Aaaree I was gonna find naa.. I told u I will find…
Whoever my bf will be is a poor chap ok? Now ur happy??
Oooyyeee u meaniiiieeeee… Stop OA now… I didn’t confirm anything… Stop assuming things…
Ofcourse.
Like you are still mistaking that you didn’t get the treat when actually you did.
Hey bluffer, stop bluffing. 😛
Hope, my friend! You are killing my hope. 😛
He already is! Ok!
Awww, so true love! So pure! 😛
Liar liar your pants on fire…
Ajay is a Liar, Ajay is a Liar, Ajay is a Liar & a meaniiiieeeee to me….
You murdered my hope… ☹️☹️☹️
He is not & will never be…
Guys like him do not know what true, pure love is….
My pants are wet. Can’t catch fire.
You’re welcome. 🙂
You are the one who killed my one hope.
Who he? Your bf? Rofl.
Did u get drenched in the rain?? Ooohhh poor you, u already had cough…. Actually good if u get drenched in the rain coz ur a meaniiiieeeee on earth
Ooohhh yaa right… After u murdered my hope…☹️
Excuse me what ru saying? I don’t really understand… What dumb replys are u giving me
Thank you for being a very good listener Ajay even if it takes you hours to reply. And thank you for the blogging queries you’ve answered for me. 😉
Anytime. 🙂
Haha, you’re welcome. 😛