We come across people and one thing leads to another and we start to know each other. Over years there is a different bond that gets formed, the one that gives us the much needed comfort, the one that makes us feel better, the one where we sometimes even lose track of time, the one where we begin to share everything, the one where we begin to know everything about the other. There comes a time where we know almost everything.  But then again, even after knowing everything, they still might surprise us, very unexpectedly; sometimes even questioning the years of companionship.

I always wonder how I end up making friends. I am never good at talking, actually as a matter of fact, at anything. But I sort of end up with some people who happen to be my friends. I used to remember I had pretty good friends when I was at school. I thought perhaps this could be us, in say ten years time. It’s been ten years and I barely know them. Yes, they are in a much better place and here I am trying to reminisce the time I had shared with them. But then again, it was me who moved away, in pursuit of something much better. If only the ones deciding the pursuit that I should be pursuing knew what they were making me give up. And then they ask me why I don’t socialize much. When did I ever get much of a chance to socialize when we keep moving from place to place. I don’t think I ever complained. I thought it was just part of life and it was an opportunity for me to rekindle and expand my friend base. I was so very wrong. What should have been a great chance for me to establish in different regions of the country and in a way opening me up turned me to be more reserved? Because I was trying to fit in and not be a part. Yes, there is a difference. When we are trying to fit in, we are changing ourselves to match to their ideas and mannerism. And when we are trying to be part of the group, we are being ourselves and hoping that they will accept us for what we are. Yes, I was wrong in this approach. But, that what I was doing – fitting in. And well, I realized that I wasn’t quite fitting in properly, because there was a multitude of differences and changing all of them to align to the new criteria of people was way too much of work. And that continued to happen every place I went. And for some reason, I concluded that fitting in won’t be my cup of coffee. While my fitting in might seem like a hurdle I never seem to jump over, some people are just beyond our purview even when we feel that we have them all figured out. And even though the circumstances changed and there might not have been no much work needed for the fitting in or having figured out the people in and out, I just choose to stay at an arm’s length, for reasons strictly unknown to me!

Despite being that awkward silent guy talking once in a blue moon (and that too in an inaudible voice) while changing hairstyles every other hour, but not so much change with that same shirt since kindergarten, there are still a few people I can call friends. Even though, I am not much of a sharer, keeping things to myself,  and yet they will come to know about them all. And I can’t don’t say this enough or ever because I am not much of a talker, but I really appreciate their presence and I would like to thank them all. You know who you are, if you are reading this.
So, thank you from the bottom of my heart.

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#ZtoAChallenge
#WeAllHaveAStoryWeDontTell
– ajaykontham