I feared as much. I had this coming. I kind of waited for it, it seemed like. So when I wrote about what I felt the other day, I was in the limelight with light foccussed on me while the questions were bombarded at me. I tried to justify my actions. But I think I went a little too far when I wrote. I thought I got that under control. But clearly I didn’t. Because when the questions came, they were the ones I least expected to be. And I came to a point where I thought I might have written something and left it in the middle that gave the concerned people a little thought to ponder over.
I always wanted to be that go-to-guy where people would ask my opinion or advice or even tell stuff or call me up late night just to talk. I know I was expecting a little too much. But what was wrong in trying. But I couldn’t be that. Because. Wait, I will have to explain this in detail. But, I blew it off. Right off the roof. Now I am one hundred percent sure that people hate me more than ever. There is no beauty in holding back, I thought and I was wrong.
The people whom I hang out with are a little temperamental. I was actually trying to write a story on them most of which is supposed to be fiction. I was just done with the introductions. I am still in the process of writing a story, which I presume I will write in the days to come. So, yeah. Temperamental! People usually get angry too fast. It is a human trait. If something they hear about themselves is something they didn’t expect or when someone starts teasing them, it is a little know fact that people will get angry about it. But so is not the case among friends. Friends are one, where we can be ourselves besides our home, and even if they crack a few jokes or tease it is not a big of a deal. After all they are friends, a second family, I could say. So, the problem with a little temper is that people get angry for the silliest of the reasons. Like if I say, I won’t come for something since I am held up in some other work, people get angry. If I say something or start teasing or however small the issue is, people get angry and leave the group. I was disturbed by this persistent leaving the group. It is I, who have to add them back every single time. I had no problem doing that. But leave in the first place! When we consider each other as friends, we talk, we say things to pull each other’s pants, tease and what not. Isn’t it supposed to be taken in a jovial manner rather than get all hyper and leaving the group? I had a lot many chances where I wanted to leave this group so bad because this was getting out of hand and like everybody else I was also losing my cool. Once, it is fine. Twice is also acceptable. But for every silly reason, it doesn’t look cool. But I could never. Even when I am mentioning about leaving the group, at the back of my head I am like, “Who? Me? Am I kidding myself? I could never do that!”. For god’s sake these are my friends and I could never leave them even if I wanted to.
I was asked whether I was comfortable in the group. I seriously have no idea what I wrote that gave this idea/impression. I could gladly say, Hell Yeah! I have never been so free with anyone. Sure, people judge but it always stays among the group. We have that confidence. I remember mentioning something about the dissimilarities and similarities among people. Let me clear that air. I am a very reserved person. Believe me, I don’t talk much in person. You could ask my parents, or my relatives, or my previous acquaintances. So, if I am talking with you, that itself is an indication that I hold a special place for you. I have been among a multitude of people who came from different places and to add to that I have traveled a lot many places. I don’t have many friends, to say the least. You might have heard the term ‘Friends for Life’ or ‘Best Friends Forever’. I can never really associate myself to that title ever. And I felt that it is basically the similarities among people that bring people close to each other and that they end up such a title. But I was wrong. When I met this group, half of the people didn’t even speak my language. That is the least of the concerns. To add to it, we were of different age groups. Three people are a year older to me. And like I assumed the similarities was one important factor. It isn’t. I was wrong about it. Though I may not expect them to hold a special place for me, I can gladly tell that I hold a special place for all these guys. So, when I look back I could remember them and say, I had a very nice batch of friends. And if were still friends after a couple of years as well, hell, then I would be holding that title I so longed for.
Dear R,
I know I wrote a little too much. I exaggerated way too much and probably I should apologize for that. So sorry about all that I wrote. Since Su had come up with the question that I kind of explained in the previous, there is a very good chance that you might also have a couple of questions. I went a little too far when I was writing. And after a few minutes of talking about it, Su advised me to open up and be free with you all people. Though I told her I was an open book but she wasn’t so convinced when I mentioned the same. I wrote the prevoious post to mention about people leaving the group for petty reasons and then I remembered that shirt thing. Seriously, it’s totally okay. No worries there. I mentioned that too because I was kind of a little shocked. From the beginning of time since that group was created and we all started hanging out as a group, I was always on your side. So, when I got the first blow kick, I was a little shocked and then when my clothes were covered in chocolate, I was a little more shocked. I got carried away and wrote something I didn’t mean to write. Then I realized among friends these things happen on a regular basis or else whats’ the fun in that and there is nothing to make a big deal out of it, like I am doing now and like I did yesterday. I realize that whenever you might read this, you might be feeling bad for that, but its’ okay and there is no problem at all. Believe me. I am just writing this to get this out of my mind. So, please don’t mind.
_________________________
And there was one question I have been meaning to ask. But some other day, perhaps. I need some coffee now. 40 hours straight without sleep is kind of foggy. Though I don’t usually sleep. These days I am just dozing off into sleep in the middle of the night. But last night I couldn’t sleep at all. I have been thinking a lot of about this (post), about what to write and how to write and what not to write and whatnot. I know I am still dizzy and have no idea what I just wrote. I hope this doesn’t spoil more than the mess I already created. Second cup of coffee right here. Finally.
P.S. : Phew! I wrote something with my sleepy eyes. And you should consider one thing, when I write I think the least about what others think or feel. Because it is just a ramification of my idle brain and its misadventures. So, please when I write something don’t take it seriously and personally. I don’t mean half of what I write unless it is about me. If I am writing about others, I write in different ways I don’t even imagine I could write about. I know I can’t sleep today as well. And yeah I am kind of starving but I can’t eat anything properly. Damn! When will this pass ?
0 responses to “Oh Boy, Could it be any worse?”
Ok so the theory I was to give, well, I am not giving it anymore!!! It is somewhat disproved!!!
Ok so the theory I was to give, well, I am not giving it anymore!!! It is somewhat disproved!!!
What ? Nooo!! :-/
I was eagerly waiting for it ! Please do share, even if it is 'disapproved', as you put it!
What ? Nooo!! :-/
I was eagerly waiting for it ! Please do share, even if it is 'disapproved', as you put it!
Well its kind of irrelevant… trust me, I might just hurt your feelings!!! And you already are in a weird position regarding the post!!!
Dont want to hurt you 🙂
Well its kind of irrelevant… trust me, I might just hurt your feelings!!! And you already are in a weird position regarding the post!!!
Dont want to hurt you 🙂
Lol.
I'm sorry. But, it's totally fine. You can tell. I would like to know your thoughts were.
So, please. Do tell.
As weird as it may be, I can handle it. 🙂
And no, you won't be hurting me. You could never do that. 🙂
I will take your opinion under advisement. I promise.
Lol.
I'm sorry. But, it's totally fine. You can tell. I would like to know your thoughts were.
So, please. Do tell.
As weird as it may be, I can handle it. 🙂
And no, you won't be hurting me. You could never do that. 🙂
I will take your opinion under advisement. I promise.
Oh how Sweet!!! 🙂
But still 😛 m not telling … Its not good (trust me) 😀
And it can not b taken as an advice :-#
Oh how Sweet!!! 🙂
But still 😛 m not telling … Its not good (trust me) 😀
And it can not b taken as an advice :-#
😀
Wait! No.
Come on, please tell me.
Like I said, I really won't mind even if it's not good. Seriously. 🙂
Well, opinion then. :-/
Please. 🙂
😀
Wait! No.
Come on, please tell me.
Like I said, I really won't mind even if it's not good. Seriously. 🙂
Well, opinion then. :-/
Please. 🙂
Do what ever or well in your case say what ever m not telling 😛
Chalo another proposal for u – giv me the post I m waiting for nd I will give u my theory 😉
Do what ever or well in your case say what ever m not telling 😛
Chalo another proposal for u – giv me the post I m waiting for nd I will give u my theory 😉
*Sob sob* :O
You are not an easy person to please. 😛
:-O
Not cool. At. All.
Bata dho na, please.
I am still writing it. I mean preparing my mind to write. In the time being, you could explain your theory. 😉
*Sob sob* :O
You are not an easy person to please. 😛
:-O
Not cool. At. All.
Bata dho na, please.
I am still writing it. I mean preparing my mind to write. In the time being, you could explain your theory. 😉
Aage ke time ka kisko pata hota hai mister 😉
Aage ke time ka kisko pata hota hai mister 😉
Sahi baat hai.
Lekin aap bata tho sakte ho aappka theory. 😉
In the meantime, I will complete what I was writing. 🙂
Sahi baat hai.
Lekin aap bata tho sakte ho aappka theory. 😉
In the meantime, I will complete what I was writing. 🙂
Chalo theek hai u complete yours 🙂
Um… Blue Phoenix!!!! So going by its definition phoenix was a mythological bird that would die in its own fire and would have a rebirth from its ashes- so what happened to u? Or is it just their bcz it sounds good?
Chalo theek hai u complete yours 🙂
Um… Blue Phoenix!!!! So going by its definition phoenix was a mythological bird that would die in its own fire and would have a rebirth from its ashes- so what happened to u? Or is it just their bcz it sounds good?
Yeah, sure. 🙂
Lekin, you won't be telling until I complete it? :-O
Ah, I am glad you noticed. 😛 Not that it wasn't noticeable. But still.
Probably, you know how it feels when someone you know reads whatever you write.
I really didn't care much, but it limits our capabilities. It restricts you from writing everything you wanted to write. It's like you are closed in a box. I have tried to express myself more often than I realize, but then again I couldn't write because there is something that stops me. Like what will he think, if I write that, what will she think, if I write this. So, I wanted to be anonymous. I tried a lot to be that. But it simply isn't possible. And imagine when my dad reads my blog, which he does, plus some of my relatives as well. So, you see, I am like tied up and there are eyes watching me all over.
So, I changed the name. Yeah, you are right about the mythological bird and all, but no, nothing has happened. I just liked the word, the resemblance to life and death. And to change it a bit I added the color. 😛 I know it is kind of stupid. And I still got to change the url.
P.S. So sorry. This was supposed to be a separate post, explaining why and what. But it will be like giving the police the time and location where I will be robbing, if you know what I mean. I think I just told too much than necessary.
P.S.S : Waiting eagerly for your theory . 😉 😛
Yeah, sure. 🙂
Lekin, you won't be telling until I complete it? :-O
Ah, I am glad you noticed. 😛 Not that it wasn't noticeable. But still.
Probably, you know how it feels when someone you know reads whatever you write.
I really didn't care much, but it limits our capabilities. It restricts you from writing everything you wanted to write. It's like you are closed in a box. I have tried to express myself more often than I realize, but then again I couldn't write because there is something that stops me. Like what will he think, if I write that, what will she think, if I write this. So, I wanted to be anonymous. I tried a lot to be that. But it simply isn't possible. And imagine when my dad reads my blog, which he does, plus some of my relatives as well. So, you see, I am like tied up and there are eyes watching me all over.
So, I changed the name. Yeah, you are right about the mythological bird and all, but no, nothing has happened. I just liked the word, the resemblance to life and death. And to change it a bit I added the color. 😛 I know it is kind of stupid. And I still got to change the url.
P.S. So sorry. This was supposed to be a separate post, explaining why and what. But it will be like giving the police the time and location where I will be robbing, if you know what I mean. I think I just told too much than necessary.
P.S.S : Waiting eagerly for your theory . 😉 😛
Ok
The same reason I am anonymous frm the beginning
Only 5 close people know me behind that anonymity nd since I trust them completely I am safe
I also write about so many people in my life but that 'what if they get to know it' scares me!
Ok
The same reason I am anonymous frm the beginning
Only 5 close people know me behind that anonymity nd since I trust them completely I am safe
I also write about so many people in my life but that 'what if they get to know it' scares me!
PSS – hahahahahaahahahahaahahahahahahahaha
PSS – hahahahahaahahahahaahahahahahahahaha
See.
It scare you even when they don't read.
But in my case, most people already read. See, that keeps me in a hard spot.
PSS : I think you are laughing! Are you ? :-O
See.
It scare you even when they don't read.
But in my case, most people already read. See, that keeps me in a hard spot.
PSS : I think you are laughing! Are you ? :-O
It is more like a “oh really” kind of laughh
It is more like a “oh really” kind of laughh
Yeah, I got that!
Sounded more like a sarcastic one. :-/
Was just confirming. 😛
So, when can I expect it ? 😉
Yeah, I got that!
Sounded more like a sarcastic one. :-/
Was just confirming. 😛
So, when can I expect it ? 😉
It totally depends upon you ;-);-);-)
It totally depends upon you ;-);-);-)
Oh boy! 😛
Ok. Ok. I thought I was convincing enough. Looks like I wasn't! 😛
Oh boy! 😛
Ok. Ok. I thought I was convincing enough. Looks like I wasn't! 😛
M just as adamant as u r 🙂
M just as adamant as u r 🙂
Oh yeah!
I can see that. 😛
Like bro, like sis. 😛
Oh yeah!
I can see that. 😛
Like bro, like sis. 😛
Definitely!
That sounds nice 🙂
Definitely!
That sounds nice 🙂
Lol. 😛
But, great. 🙂
Lol. 😛
But, great. 🙂