I have been asked a question a lot many times these past few months. And I am getting more familiarized with the very question with no good answer. Well, I do have an answer, but this puts in front of me a few more unanswerable questions. The very question could tell almost everything about me, or perhaps give a brief insight about me in a nutshell. If you are wondering what this question is, let’s find out.
The last month had my birthday and the ritual that I follow consists of me going out, spending on food and umm, that’s pretty much it. For the past six to seven years, I have been doing the same. So, one of the following days after the “big day”, it goes on like this (most of the times) :
What did you do on your birthday?
I went out and had a stupendous meal.
With whom?
I went alone.
*a little perplexed face, probably because they don’t know how to react to that while I give an awkward smile*
The weekends after a very busy week, which most of the people eagerly wait. Since the time Monday begins, I look forward to the weekend in anitcipation of doing something exciting. Then again the eagerly awaited weekend finally arrives and those two days shouldn’t go wasted in any way. So, I go for movies (sometimes), or to that new restaurant which opened last week, or the new Starbucks Coffee to check what the fuss about the coffee for the high pocketed or if I feel too lazy, to the regular coffee shop. The following day, Monday which everyone of us hate, the conversation goes on ..
How was your weekend? How did it go?
It was okay types. As usual
How was your weekend?
It was okay. I hung out with my friends.
What did you do ?
Well, I went to watch a movie on Saturday.
With whom?
Umm, Alone?
I revamped my Camera. You know the karma shit. It is always there to kick my ass, even if I don’t do anything to it. My camera had a trouble, for reason unknown. The cost of repair was equal to a new camera. Yeah, karma is a Biatch. When I say revamped, you get the point, right? I took a new one. Though I wanted to take a high end model, then I realized I was a shitty photographer already ( Photography : proof ), so if I were to go for a high end camera, I had to know everything that is to know how to operate a camera, properly. No, I still don’t know. Yes, I have been using a camera for 4 years now. Remember, the shitty photographer comment I threw at myself? Anyhow, I revamped that whole thing but I think I am letting it get dusty safely in the cupboard. Instead, I had an idea of going out, somewhere out of the city or perhaps out of the country. [ But then my bank balance : Zero ] *cries harder*. So, I got a lot of saving to do ( don’t laugh, please ). But I took the effort to research a few places and decided to go anywhere somehow this very year. My initial plan was to go this very month whilst I will procrastinate. But remember I mentioned something about revamping the camera, the result of which is reflected in the bank balance. My first choice was Mauritius ( did you see the photos? the sea water? just perfect for honing my photography skills). I thought it was somewhere near Lakshadeep Islands. I found out that it is in Indian Ocean but not a part of India, but Africa. So whatever! I am going there. But let me rob a bank first. A few days later, or I guess it was the following day I was in conversation with a friend.
….So, what else?
Hey, you know what? I am planning to go to someplace, out of the city, like Mauritius, Goa or perhaps Leh Ladakh, or anywhere.
But why?
I am getting bored and so I will go there and take some pictures with the new camera. (I think I sounded a little excited).
Okaay. With whom?
All by myself. ( I was getting bored of using the word alone).
All this while, I had a lot of thinking about this “issue” at hand. I do a lot of things alone. I don’t do a lot of other things because I am alone. You see there are both sides. But the scale is heavier on the things I don’t do because I am alone. But let’s consider the actual scenarios that I am involved with. Going alone to the movie sucks, I know. But what else am I supposed to do when I have a few friends / acquaintances who bias the movie based on ratings, other’s reviews, language, the genre, IMDB rating, whatnot. The problem being we consider watching movie an event. Perhaps it should be done something if we are in a company of people and suddenly decide to spend the time watching a movie. But instead, we plan a week ahead, cancel the plan for the day because we got a movie to watch. I do these things spontaneously, and perhaps thats the reason I go alone?
If you want to watch a movie for passing time, just go and watch with friends. Even if the movie sucks, there will be something to get some fun out of it since there are friends involved and friends won’t let a boring movie bother us. But, that is not the case with me apparently, if the movie sucks, I have to put on my headphones and listen to songs and wait for the movie to get over like I did today. Oh bloody hell, that movie had no story and it wasn’t getting over anytime soon.
Now the question that stands in front of me is : Where are your friends, AJ? I wish I had a definitive answer to the question. I am not a people person. It takes time for me get adjusted, acquainted, but when I do I could be crazy, crazy enough for you to block me ( No, not exactly! I am exaggerating. Don’t block me now!). I do have friends but sometimes they can’t make it to everything I might be involved with. It feels like I have friends but then again I don’t. The people whom I consider friends are mostly the people I work with. And as you might have guessed, they have they own friends of their own ( from their school, college, likewise ) and they have known them for a long time have attuned to them in a matter of speaking. There may be new people in our lives, but then again there is that old bond that could never go old, no matter the time / distance / whatnot. I have been a migrant, which means I haven’t stayed in a single place for a long time. That should have be a good thing, considering the fact that I have had the chance to meet a lot of people which inturn meant that I should have a lot of friends. There is a procedure that is in play when someone ( say a stranger) becomes a friend, then a best friend and then a friend for life. I haven’t stayed long enough to complete that process and all I am left with were friends-turning-acquaintances, while some don’t even remember me (true story). Perhaps its’ just me and there might be is something wrong with me ( which is true which is quite evident, Iguess). So, its’ me in the limelight again who need some (or a lot) changing to do. But isn’t it late? It is late sure, but not late enough to start over. I say this to myself that from tomorrow I will be doing things differently. But the tomorrow turns to hundred another tomorrows and ten years from now, I will be writing this very post again, with a different example. But let’s not lose hope, right now !
Until later.
0 responses to “A question.”
Happens! And whoever said doing things alone is not good. I like some quality 'me' time everyday and if anyone disturbs me at that time, then I turn into a very very unpleasant person. But then if you feel like you are doing too many things alone and you yourself feel that you need some company, you can make more friends or go with existing friends based on Least Objectionable Activity (Remember Sheldon Cooper and the Friendship Algorithm? :P)
Yeah. There is a specific time reserved for self. I guess everyone of us has that.
But what if that is all.the time? I hope you understand me.
Haha. Should try that.
If Sheldon Cooper was for real, he would be alone too. 😛
hey loved reading ur post
I am also a reserved and introvert person bt there is nothing wrong in it
I love spending tym in my company too as we can explore ourselves better,we cn understand ourselves better
ANd i u really want to make new friends then its nt too late ,i beleive its nvr too late for anythng u want to do 🙂
do read my new post here http://vanduchoudhary.blogspot.in/2015/02/hyderabadfoodies-paradise_17.html
Thank you very much. 🙂
Yeah, I agree. There is nothing wrong in that.
I do too. But if it goes on for like everyday, I guess it might be a problem.
Yeah. Only if I was more of a people person. But thanks for the motivation, I will try my best. 🙂
Sure, I will do that.
🙂
http://vanduchoudhary.blogspot.in/
I feel bad for people who can't have a good time in their own company! I always go out alone and I love it 🙂
That being said so, I do also like company sometimes. I guess it's about the balance
Well, give it time and let it settle in.
I had been doing the things just like that, by being alone for the past seven years and believe me, you will still love going out alone. But may be not every single time.
Yeah, it is about balance. And it is much more about the people who would be interested to be in company with us.
Doing things alone also shows that you are fine with your own company. Not many are. Also, I am a newbie here too and since I dont have friends here (except two, who decided to get married), I went to the movies alone too. SHAMITABH. The movie was shit but I enjoyed watching it all alone on the last seat in a half empty theatre and a tub of chilly cheese popcorn. How who gets that opportunity!
Yes, I miss my friends back in Bhopal and Kochi. I make very few friends but stick to them like glue. So, now it is kind of weird for me to make new friends in Bangalore or at work. Lets see!
and go for that trip. Its awesome to travel alone.
A heart felt piece! And I think you sum it up with “I do a lot of things alone. I don't do a lot of other things because I am alone. You see there are both sides”. I have lived in different cities and left behind my friends when I came to Mumbai in 2007. I have done loads of stuff alone because my husband travels a lot. Sometimes out of choice, other times out of compulsion because I just did not want to sit alone at home on a sunday evening. I wouldn't agree that you can do fewer things because you are alone. Don't let being alone stop you from doing what you like. You may not like to be alone but you still have the opportunity to explore life! Go, do it on your own! 🙂
Yeah. I agree totally.
Oh marriage makes the people totally alien to the people around somehow. I never understood that logic.
I live going to movies alone too. I don't get to explain things to the “friend” sitting beside me who has no clue what's happening in the movie.
Friends are easy to make. The difficult part is keeping them because they want to stay not because we want them to. Thats friendship in a nutshell. You have great friends.
Oh, you do know that I stay in Bangalore right ? So… You know you could totally contact me. 😛
Yeah. It is in planning phase and I will soon do some travelling.
Thank You. 🙂
This was quite refreshing and thanks for motivating me to do things on my own. I will eventually do everything that I wanted to do.
I always enjoy doing things alone. It gives me a sense of peace and the time to reflect on various things which is not possible if you are always surrounded by chaos. I enjoy company of other people too, as long as the conversation is meaningful. I hate small talk though:)
Very well written and loved the honesty in the post 🙂
So do I. We get that peace in doing things alone. Exactly what you said.
Small talks are awkward. Especially when it's with a stranger.
Why, thank you. 🙂
Appreciate your time and thanks for dropping by.