It was 3AM and I was about to sleep, but then a thought hit me. The problem with thoughts is that I, ahem *get ready for the breaking news of all time*, have a very small memory. I tend to forget a lot of the stuff a second later, so I have to write them down, then and there, right away. And even the small gap between getting to a book or a notes app, this great, ground breaking thought I just had might evaporate. It has happened a few too many times that I can’t stop banging my head trying to recollect the very thought I had a second ago. You can imagine how difficult it is for me to remember the OTPs that I keep getting for each login these days. Over the years, I have lost so many of these short memories. Memory, such a funny thing, and yet so very mysterious. 

The problem or should I say the good thing about the world is that it doesn’t stop, no matter what you or I do, don’t do, or are stuck, move on, whatever may be the case, the world just moves on. I, we are nothing significant compared to the whole world in purview. It is imperative to understand that the world doesn’t revolve around on singular object or entity. Everything revolves around everything. Nothing is constant in this world, I mean universe. I am pretty sure when we think of the universe, we don’t understand that it is infinite. Though, we have quantified infinity, but then again it is equally significant to understand that there is no end, there are no corner, there are no dimensions. Is there an end, a start, a beginning, an epicentre, something. Be as it may be a mystery, and perhaps there are million books theorizing and formulation, and not to mention sending satellites to understand the vast nothingness, or perhaps an entirely different functional universe, we still have quantified the mystery.

We created Gods to give it all a sort of meaning. Perhaps, we don’t totally comprehend the depth of it all or maybe we are still a few years or centuries away. We have a logical, or perhaps illogical explanation. Where did it all start? Does it even end? How did it all start? A million other questions but I guess we could end with, “Why am I here?”. Now, that is the question, is it not? Like I have said, and many other before me and after, that the universe is infinite. And from the perspective of infinities, what are we even doing? What are we supposed to do? We have constructed a ‘standard’ for life, that we have a certain steps to follow, certain obligations to meet, certain goals to reach, or just be aimless, perhaps not by choice, but by circumstance. We have adapted ourselves to this framework of life. And then again, for this juncture of time, there is a process that some follow, some create new ones. This is going to be different in a few centuries or maybe in a few years to say the least. But at this point of time, if we were to see the world from the perspective of the universe, how significant is it even? As I write this, I am starting to find the flaws in my own theories. 

I am sure that we have been told that we are meant to achieve great things. Some of us have been given the means, while some have not been. Like the two sides to each coin, many have prospered with nothing; and everything, while many haven’t. If you think about it at the end of everything, which I believe is inevitable, does it all even matter? I am sure it doesn’t matter. But what would matter is everything before that. Just because it might not matter somewhere in the distant future, doesn’t mean that it wouldn’t matter now. The only thing that matters is now and everything ahead of. Though, we want to know what the future holds and what we should do now or to do to be in the future that we so desire, it all comes down to now. And all the talk about what is even the point of us is exactly what we leave behind in the short period. Perhaps, there is no future or perhaps there is a glorious one. Or even from the perspective of the whole infiniteness of the world, and however insignificant or useless it might all seem, we are living in the now. A ‘now’ where we have quantified, sort of structured however broken it might be, ecosystem where we have certain hopes, dreams and obligations to meet.

I wonder if someone in a universe far far away is contemplation the whole universe and wondering why?

ak | ix.i.mmxxii