I was not willing to accept, but I had to accept. There was a marathon today, not even did I go, I didn’t even make an attempt to be a little bit interested. I should have been preparing for this the time I saw, or at least I kinda registered. It would have given me that motivation to go to the gym that I had always wanted to go. I seem to have my priorities crossed and there is no mystery in that either. It is what it is, like my WhatsApp status so clearly says, “Que sera sera”, the translation of which I have been asked a few too many times than a simple google search would have yielded the answer much faster and not mention would have resulted in sparing me from the unwanted torment, but we all know that this would have in certain avoided the small talk that no one was even interested to begin with. Without further ado and avoiding to branch into another realm of complaints and what not, here is the meaning “whatever will be, will be”. 

I have been following the rule for a long longer than I should admit. If you have not noticed, whatever will be, will be when we are doing something, guiding the flow in the general direction we want it to head. It does not simply work because the universe has a grand scheme for everyone in this world, like many of us still hold dear to hear. It would be a full blown debate what the universe wants and what we want and the of course the underlying guiding principles that binds us all together. Long story longer, I skipped going to the marathon, half marathon actually. I have to clarify that. Not that I was any good for the full marathon. Forty Two kilometres, I mean whom am I kidding. I don’t know how people even run that far. I could barely run a mile before my body started giving out. The misconception that my stamina is great, as endorsed by a few of my friends, I not only fell short, I fell even before the starting line. Having said that, I bike. I can bike long distances. I rode my bike for close of 50 km a couple of times. Now, one needs to understand that I can bike for hours, provided there is not much heat, which shouldn’t be a problem, but it will definitely be an excuses. I have been made fun of the fact that I bike a lot and I try to boast about it subtly of course, actually not, but I think I got the point across. No? Sigh. So, I try not to boast, but boast. I don’t tell about it, I drop subtle hints. So, I make a challenge for others to figure out what I am even boasting about. It is indeed a completely different story that no one, I repeat no one really cares about that. But that never stopped me. 

I slept at around 4 that day. 4 AM. I mean this is not the sign of someone who even considered registering for a marathon. I get that running is difficult without proper training or if one has not been doing that for a while. But that doesn’t mean that one has to throw their hands in the air and give up. I mean take the easy way out. I should be waking up at this time, hitting the gym or going for a 100m run, at least. But no, I had to swing from one building to another in the great city of New York in a god damn game. I was running, walking, swinging, kicking ass, I mean getting my ass kicked over and over again. I know have a little bit better idea of the locations that I keep hearing in the movies and TV series. The next thing I did was search for some coffee shops that might be open at that time. And whom was I even kidding, there weren’t any. Now, if you know me or met me, you might know that I have a obsession with coffee. No, I am not addicted. For the most days, I barely even drink coffee. I don’t know when people say that they need a coffee to even start to work. That has never happened to me. Yes, I like coffee. Yes, I drink a lot. You can ask the Starbucks baristas who know my order when I enter. I wouldn’t say I am popular, because I am not. But they all know me as that weird cappuccino guy who keeps littering the coffee shops with his origami, and they don’t have the heart to complain because I keep visiting everyday. A small litter is a good enough price to pay for cha-ching, I mean money. People were never shy to say that I might as well be the reason for Starbucks to be still in business. I laugh. No.

I woke up again around 8 and I thought I still had time to make it to the starting line of the marathon. But I had other plans and it was a bit cold, and I ate late the previous night and I had a million other handy excuses, but the best one being that I decided to catch the remainder hours of the much needed sleep. I have circles darken than black hole to prove it as well. Well, lets not go over there because I even stuff to get rid of them. I could sleep. But no, I was trying other ways to get rid of them. I know you might be struggling to figure out what I got. I don’t even know what I got, but let’s term them make up products. Now, I always had products, actually a lot more than needed, I guess even more than my mom. It’s a different story that my mom doesn’t do makeup, which is my it is a good comparison, because I haven’t anyone else’s makeup wardrobe. So, to clarify about the products, I have all hair products. I keep seeing something in the store and think that this will work perfectly, it will give the style that I need. But little did I know and I continue to miss the point that my hair keeps trying to make that, the hair style will never be what I need it to be, it will be whatever it wants to be. I have tried long and hard to tame it, I mean experimented and the result is fast receding hair and unstable hair style. It will look good, not just good, it will look perfect, the one that I have always wanted for ever, and a one moment and a second later, it will be all messed up. Sometimes, I walk around the house like I am carrying a bomb that would set off if I tilt even a degree and still it will be all messy. One time, I even cut all my hair ( one of the experiments that I was talking about ) to set my hair properly to go a certain way. My mistake was thinking that the hair would listen to me and I have those remaining two strands of hair to prove. But then again, there isn’t much that I can really do, is there? I reassure… I mean console myself, just like for everything that keeps happening mostly without my any say so, “Whatever will be, will be”.

ak | x.xix.mmxxii