Tick. Tock. Ti..Tipping point. I think everyone has one. I know what my tipping point is. Honestly, I know for a fact that I have many instances where things had already exceeded my whatever invisible line is there, but there has never been an action on that. “People”, the so called smart ones. ofcourse,  would probably term it as a deeply seeded feelings that have been shoved so far deep that it might just turn to diamonds. If only that were the case, there would have been a silver lining to all the things that have never been said. Among other things, can also be termed as feelings, that never seem to surface, sometimes some do. 

I have heard people having a bad day and the affect of that being shown on completely unrelated instances or with people. I thought that was odd. How can there be no lines when the scene changes? But then again, who am I to judge, I transcend all lines, all scenes, all dimensions, in my mind. There seem to be so much going on that there is not one thing that is happening at one time. There are always things, not one, not two, but many. And that still doesn’t seem to be enough for some reason. The noise is too loud and nothing else seem to overpower it. Perhaps, I should rephrase. The noises are too loud. 

I keep wondering if ever I was sane. That might be an oversimplification of such a simple phrase. I know I have never been and I know that for a fact. I am glad that no one can hear my thoughts. Oh boy, you would be so surprised that I can’t even fathom. I know looks can be deceiving, and it would be a ride for sure. Or perhaps, that might be answer to all the questions that I don’t even know. Someone might just be able to figure it all out, that missing piece of the puzzle. Well, if only. Perhaps, it is all about finding that missing puzzle piece and everything else is just the journey towards it. I keep trying to find meaning in things that I don’t seem to understand, like the piece of puzzle, and of course everything else. For one, I feel like I know everything and who is anyone to explain things to me, explain me to me, if it were to come to that. I may totally be wrong, but there is a slight possibility that I might be right as well. Perhaps, there are things that never had a meaning to begin with. It is just the way it is. And how much ever I want to believe that, I keep falling back into the tangled web of thoughts trying to find answers to the questions I don’t even know. Ah, the freedom of thoughts, that never seize to take a break, not once, not ever. 

There is this thing I have heard that people take breaks to unwind. I wonder how that works. My mind is clearly not wired like that. Not that I have never tried, I have. It has never worked. Perhaps, I am to blame as well. There are always one or the other thing that seems to occupy any space, just like water filling the bowl to the brim and then spilling all over. If at all, for some bizarre mysterious reason there is a possibility that the mind can shut off just for a while.. as I am trying to write this, I can’t seem to finish the sentence let alone the thought. That is next to impossible but I will earnestly look forward to that day, I mean that one micro second of a moment. But besides that one millionth of a second, I am always running, from questions that need answering, from thoughts that never stop, from things that matter, from everything. Long story short, perhaps there is never a dull moment, when this tangled web of thoughts is so dense that there is nothing but darkness. And I fathom that there is light or at least there should be, at the end of tunnel, what tunnel? Amidst all these intangible noises, the dense dark web, wouldn’t you agree that it’s just a matter of time it tips over. Would anyone be able to see the sanity in insanity then?

ak | ix.xvi.mmxxiv