The world came to a standstill. The voices faded into the background. The commotion, so far yet so near, buzzed like a constant reminder. The cold atmosphere couldn’t stop the freezing fingers from folding into a fist. The blood boiled under the surface like sand on the desert. The heart broke a little, and as pain seared through the veins, the eyes grew fiercely red. But, amidst all the chaos around, the angry fist, that embalmed with constant disappointment and anger, lay frozen as if someone was taming it like a lion on a leash.
We discussed over coffee as the TV scrolled the news on repeat about the horrors of the people, the men in general, oh apologies, let me rephrase #NotAllMen. We took another sip as we tried to analyse the situation at hand, like the experts that we were are ,will be. As we take another sip, we come to the stage where we try play this blame game, because since every action has a consequence, we needed someone-something to put the whole blame on.
We even debated over whose fault it is. We fought with each other to put the blame on someone. And we found the perfect victim- the victim itself! And to put things into better perspective, we gave it names. We called it Westernization, then commented on the dress, perhaps the modern culture being influenced by the west, may be what was shown on Television be it movies or television shows, and let’s not forget Porn, but then it has to Literacy-Education or the lack of it, this shit and that.
We debated over the education system. How a majority of the people don’t get it. We differentiated the educated and the uneducated masses claiming that the uneducated were the ones to blame , because the educated people apparently are well behaved-cultured. We even said we will raise our sons better. Yes, we will have a better future but, I am sorry but how is that going to help the situation at hand. It’s not like the people who are doing it are all uneducated or illiterate or likewise.
We have heard people saying, “That is why we prefer a boy. Girls don’t have safety in this country.” and all this while we are the educated ones. But then again, we defended men saying not all are the same. #NotAllMen- we started a social campaign to support the humblest of the men out there sitting in front of their screens and getting offended. And what the fuck are these #NotAllMen men doing? Are they providing security to the women? Are they rewriting the laws to favor more safety? Or taking appropriate actions to prevent any such incidents further. Are they now? Because, I don’t see a point where we have to defend our honor and ego, while we are not doing anything.
We debated over the change that needs to be brought upon. We even debated about the change that needs to be done, but still hasn’t brought up. We wanted the people to change their thinking. We wanted the people to change their actions. But we couldn’t even bring the change to the person’s mind we were debating with, let alone the perpetrators.
“I blame the aunties, the old custom aunties who talk behind others back and point the fault at everything they ever could be“, “I blame the old age norms which state the women to be at home“, “I blame the women propagandizing the feminism“, “I blame the dress she wore, the western mindset of people, the girls who party late at night“, “I blame the…“. We blamed some or the other person and all this while all we ever did was point fingers. We thought people were more mature than blaming someone else, but apparently not. We didn’t realize that we are also at blame as much as anyone else.
And then we shared our experiences that left a bad taste in our mouth, the ones we never wanted to let them out, the ones we wanted to forget, the ones we wanted to stay hidden, but now we got the courage to speak out. I got the courage to share. And so we did share. We felt good when someone said, “I support you”. We felt sad to see so many similar stories from people. But still we supported them, in my hearts and in the replies to their stories. Our blood still boils at the very thought of it but all we ever could do was provide moral support and comfort.
But, but among all this drama, we didn’t do anything! We discussed and discussed, we analysed and psycho-analysed, we fought and debated, and yet we didn’t do one thing. Not one fucking thing. Actions speak louder than words, and all we did was talk and blame and defend and blame some more and talk bullshit and a little sense. The problem with us is we are saying, “We want change” but doing nothing for the change.As I write this, I am helpless, as I could ever be as if being tamed like a lion on a leash. . And it makes us, me angry.
I don’t know what else to say. Because anything I say or to be more precise write, is not bringing about any change. I know this because I have written a couple many times and it didn’t. What we need is to do something, something that brings about the change. Something that empowers women, and educates men to be more responsible of their actions and more importantly makes people understand the boundaries within which we have to stay and even more importantly understanding the concept of consent. Can we bring about that change? Can we be more considerate and be a little more sensible? Can we be more responsible and try our best to avert the situation if it going bad instead of being a silent by stander? Can we help each other, please?
____
ak, xvi i mmvii
P.S. I used “we” to emphasize on the point that we are in some way responsible to everything, be it trying to bring the change or doing the wrong deed. I would like to see someone object my purview.
35 responses to “Can we help each other?”
I realized how much I miss being on WordPress after reading this post. Very beautifully written n expressed! Also it’s an eye opener!
See, so you should come to WP more often, and also read my posts. 😛
Thank you, but I do wish if there was something we could really ‘do’.
Yes. Baate to sab karte hai, samajte b hai zaroorat hai to karne walo ki!
And yes I’ll surely visit often 🙂 😀
Exactly. We need people who can do something.
Baatien to hum bhi kar rahe hai, samaj be rahe hai, lekin kuch kar nahi rahe.
Thank you. See, kind. 😛
Haha I agree 😀
Thank you. 😀
Very nice post , http://samisportsupdatesindia31.wordpress.com
If you have read the post, you would know it isn’t a ‘very’ nice post. But thanks for dropping by.
It is nice indeed,I have read it,u have mentioned many important things,I find it nice so I cmnted sorry if I hurt u.
Iam really really sorry,have a nice year ahead.
Thank you.
Have a great year ahead yourself.
Dude, come on. Don’t apologise for something you didn’t do. Everything is fine. Don’t worry about it.
Also, thanks for reading. Only that this was kind if a sensitive issue and hence. No hard feelings whatsoever.
Take care. Good night.
Thanks brother good nyt
Rightly so, the change starts with us. I and my client (indian), who works for a fortunate 500 pharma company, and other colleagues went to a restaurant here in Basel for dinner. He kept eyeing the waitress which i noticed a couple of times. After settling the cheque he tells her…. You should be in India, you will make a lot of money and gave a sly smile. Then he told us how she was too pretty to make money. I stopped there and gave him my piece of mind ending with if you wouldnt be working in this awesome company then it is people like you who commit rape. An escalation awaited i think. Sorry for a long comment but it moved to me to speak and this is my little change to stand up and to speak up.
I love long comments. So, please don’t stop. And also don’t apologise for it.
Kudos to you for speaking up and standing for what was right.
Perhaps, these little standing ups and stopping people from passing such opinions would come a long way.
Now, I was discussing something similar with a colleague and he made a point to where should one draw the line. Your client, though he is wrong to even say or think so, but in his defence, he would say that “I just said and did nothing and would never do such a thing.”
He was wrong, but then again he drew a line at just passing a comment. So, to the people actually commenting the crime, where do they draw the line and think that it is okay to do whatever crime they indulge themselves into.
You made a statement saying that your writing all these articles will not do anything. But, I believe that someday someone is going to read your writings and understand them the way you want them to. Writing will never ever go waste, I know this from experience.
Then again, I could be wrong… Did any of this make any sense to you? If it did, then hats off to you!!
Yes, may be one day someone will do read.
But when will that day be? More importantly, would it be too late when they read it?
There are always two sides to a coin. There is as much probability of someone reading it and as much chance for not. We can not really really tell.
But, thank you for your thoughts. 😀
Even that’s right…
But hey, all we can do is hope for the best. 🙂
True.
Good one Ajay..I agree with you that nothing can change by just talking about it and blaming others. We need some action to bring change. But when I look at the recent incidents like Nirbhaya where so many people came out on streets to speak up against it..sadly today the situation is same. Why? cos our government didnt change any laws. and because people forget everything after sometime and we just keep on blaming others. Just hoping for things to change.
Exactly.
We want this so called change. And we start fighting for it when something happens and after a while we forget about it – may be because we feel that nothing can be done or that this government is for no good or may be perhaps we have been helpless all along.
As you have read this and shared you opinion and I am replying to this with my opinion, we are still talking, aren’t we? And while we are at it, we are making excuses for not being able to do anything and hoping things to change. Hasn’t history taught us anything about this so called hope, that it doesn’t work that way by sitting in our comfortable rooms, agitated as we may be, and just hoping for things to change.
Great deciption!
argh – sorry: should be “depiction”
Thank You. 🙂
Don’t worry about the typo. I understood. 🙂
Thank you! 🙂
No problem.
I was just over your blog. It is quite interesting, though I had to use Google Translate. 🙂
Where are you from, if you don’t mind me asking?
Happy to know you visited my blog and even tried the Google-translation 🙂
I live in the north of Germany, “in-the-middle-of-nowhere” between the cities of Berlin, Hamburg and Hannover, place of my childhood, but for most years of my live, I stayed in Munich (Bavaria) and near Vienna (Austria).
I am glad I visited your blog.
Yeah, I had to. 😛
Wow. Munich and Vienna are beautiful places, I have heard. 🙂
They are nice places to visit, with lovely green areas and historic buildings even in their centrum.
Yes, that is what I have heard.
Hopefully, will get a chance to visit someday. 🙂
There ist no best season for both, but I would prefer the warmer months because of the many outdoor restaurations and happy people along the riversides in both cities.
Why, thank you. 🙂
I will keep that in mind when I do plan to visit. Thank You. 😀
What happens is we talk, we think and we forget. When our turn comes to take the right step we hesitate. We start thinking that, log kya kaheinge. What I think is don’t let people rule your world not at least your thoughts. If you think your steps are right just continue……
Exactly. Nothing happens when we talk and analysis and give our opinions.
Would we hesitate , would we think about the people and their opinions at the time of crisis? Would you?
It’s not about letting someone else dictate my choices or actions, but doing something that doesn’t lead us to come to face with the atrocities against women, in general.