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“I was at the dead end of the world and looked back. I saw the trails of the journey. I saw the unsuccessful stories, the difficulties of the life. I thought I was at the end and looked forward again, I saw something similar. Something, which I had seen long back where it all had started there. I then realised that the World id round and I was at the very beginning.”

“Was it the beginning of the end?
 OR. 
Was it the end of the beginning?”


Life is a Paradox. Sometimes we achieve what we want and sometimes we get even if we don’t want. And sometimes we don’t get what we want. And sometimes we don’t want and we don’t get anything.

Sometimes I feel someone has put a gun at point-blank range and is getting his desired work done. I reluctantly accept with the fear of being killed or say love for life. And sometimes I feel to let him pull the trigger and let it all end. This was sadness in me. The depression in me. Why am I depressed? Why am I sad? What is the cause, the reason? Well, I am not bothered. Are you?

I am at the hill top and feel the peace of the height and the calm wind making mw forget who I am and leaving all worries I stand there for hours. But the mind is never at ease and neither is the heavy heart. It breaks the happiness into pieces and lest upon me again the inverted U face. It searches for the ultimate fault in me and strikes me back saying, “Don’t you remember this, that?” Somewhere deep beneath the heart, I feel like jumping off the cliff but cannot. Don’t ask me why? Because I too don’t know. I pause.

I feel like shouting and let the agony, pain, distress, misery in me vanish into the sands and let them dissolve in the ocean by the stream of tears. But, there is something supernatural beholding me which forbids me in doing anything. WHY ME? Sometimes I can’t sustain the acquisitions. I can’t take anymore. Sometimes the single mistake haunts me more than the mid night ghost. Sometimes I feel, I am burned to ashes, but I am the single piece of paper un-burnt with tattered pieces of ash.

Solace, comfort, relief, peace is what I am searching for. I searched everywhere, but not the place where they are available and I don’t know where it is. I can’t think anymore. The agony has swept away me from thinking. The darkness has overwhelmed me. I am in the shadows of the daylight and darkness of the night moon.

Sometimes… sometimes… Isn’t there an end to these? I could hear a voice inside me say, “ NO ”.


P.S.:: Sometimes I like rubbish like this. I can’t tell anything more. So, simply thanks for reading. And don’t forget to mark the check-boxes below as “Weird”. 

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0 responses to “Sometimes…”

  1. searching peace!!!!
    actually this makes us unpeaceful…
    searching 4 comforts make us to strive!!! n so on…widout 1 v can't find da other……
    N dats da truth of lyf!!!!
    but after u found da place where u can find dose comforts,peacefulness etc..,actually u can't njoy dem….
    bcoz,a man actually donno how 2 live.In my 4 th standard or so,one of teachers mentioned that “a man is a social animal….”im not 100 percent sure dat a man is animal but i can say man is fully a social moron n nothing else,he follows majority's decision n thus desings his life style….n da majority fight 4 comforts,peacefulness etc..,throught out their lives n after acheiving dem dey realise dat dey can be no more 2 njoy deir sweet achievements…n other men being socially influenced,follow da same n waste their lives…….dis is wat happening!!!! anyway gud work!!!

  2. searching peace!!!!
    actually this makes us unpeaceful…
    searching 4 comforts make us to strive!!! n so on…widout 1 v can't find da other……
    N dats da truth of lyf!!!!
    but after u found da place where u can find dose comforts,peacefulness etc..,actually u can't njoy dem….
    bcoz,a man actually donno how 2 live.In my 4 th standard or so,one of teachers mentioned that “a man is a social animal….”im not 100 percent sure dat a man is animal but i can say man is fully a social moron n nothing else,he follows majority's decision n thus desings his life style….n da majority fight 4 comforts,peacefulness etc..,throught out their lives n after acheiving dem dey realise dat dey can be no more 2 njoy deir sweet achievements…n other men being socially influenced,follow da same n waste their lives…….dis is wat happening!!!! anyway gud work!!!

  3. Awww…we all go through such emotions Ajay…
    Crappy sometimes n super elative at others
    I guess that’s what makes life..
    N venting it all out like this often helps:-)

  4. Awww…we all go through such emotions Ajay…
    Crappy sometimes n super elative at others
    I guess that’s what makes life..
    N venting it all out like this often helps:-)

  5. “Solace, comfort, relief, peace is what I am searching for.”

    Don't we all search for that, Ajay in return all we get is some more questions. I have always believed in living life as it comes. Here I wish you a wonderful life and keep writing always, your thoughts are really provoking!

    Great to know, visit me back when you are free! 🙂

  6. “Solace, comfort, relief, peace is what I am searching for.”

    Don't we all search for that, Ajay in return all we get is some more questions. I have always believed in living life as it comes. Here I wish you a wonderful life and keep writing always, your thoughts are really provoking!

    Great to know, visit me back when you are free! 🙂

  7. @ Sourav : Yeah, you are absolutely right. But the search never ends, the questions never end and finally we (I) don't get them. And it's nice to hear that you live in life as it comes. So do I, but this brings a lot of unexpected surprises.

    Have a wonderful life. 🙂

    Thanks for the visit and the comment. :). And yeah, will sure visit yours.

    ~ Ajay Kontham.

  8. @ Sourav : Yeah, you are absolutely right. But the search never ends, the questions never end and finally we (I) don't get them. And it's nice to hear that you live in life as it comes. So do I, but this brings a lot of unexpected surprises.

    Have a wonderful life. 🙂

    Thanks for the visit and the comment. :). And yeah, will sure visit yours.

    ~ Ajay Kontham.

  9. @- Sugar Cube – :: Thank you so much. Well, frankly speaking as you said we might find solace in ourselves. That is so true. I never thought in that manner. And venting out is what I had been doing. And that had also taught me well. But learning about ourself is much more important. Thanks. 🙂

    Thanks for the visit and the comment.

  10. @- Sugar Cube – :: Thank you so much. Well, frankly speaking as you said we might find solace in ourselves. That is so true. I never thought in that manner. And venting out is what I had been doing. And that had also taught me well. But learning about ourself is much more important. Thanks. 🙂

    Thanks for the visit and the comment.

  11. I love the flow of these words, the feel is defiantly a little melancholic. I feel something for this though.. cant tell what but its something. Interesting to read. .

  12. I love the flow of these words, the feel is defiantly a little melancholic. I feel something for this though.. cant tell what but its something. Interesting to read. .

  13. @ Eye- Shuh :: I am glad to know that you liked my post. Thanks a lot. :). Actually, what I wrote was something deep in my heart, the agony of a fragile heart tumbling to find some peace.

    Thanks once again for visiting and your splendid comment. 🙂

  14. @ Eye- Shuh :: I am glad to know that you liked my post. Thanks a lot. :). Actually, what I wrote was something deep in my heart, the agony of a fragile heart tumbling to find some peace.

    Thanks once again for visiting and your splendid comment. 🙂

  15. @ Sivaranjani :: Though you have removed your comment. But I still have read your comment.

    “Rubbish” in the sense that I write on topics which are quite not related to the the trend the people follow. I speak my heart. The heart which trembles and groans with the daily foes and then fumbles to find a free space. The thoughts I have expressed have been understood by you clearly. I am glad. And your assumption is very true. And I don't have answer for it. 🙁 Poor me.

    Anyways, thanks for the visit. ( and the deleted comment ) !!

  16. @ Sivaranjani :: Though you have removed your comment. But I still have read your comment.

    “Rubbish” in the sense that I write on topics which are quite not related to the the trend the people follow. I speak my heart. The heart which trembles and groans with the daily foes and then fumbles to find a free space. The thoughts I have expressed have been understood by you clearly. I am glad. And your assumption is very true. And I don't have answer for it. 🙁 Poor me.

    Anyways, thanks for the visit. ( and the deleted comment ) !!

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Sometimes…

© THE SILENT WAVES 2024 | By ʞɐ

Sometimes…

© THE SILENT WAVES 2024 | By ʞɐ